For the year 2008

Some of the things to do to start the new year right:

1. Lessen, if not totally stop, swearing. (true only to obviously vulgar languages and when in an irate state - it usually sounds meant when mad)
2. Lessen, if not totally stop, all forms of violent acts. i.e. slapping, pinching and punching.
3. Excel in any task asssigned at work.
4. Get rid of laziness and will-do-that-later habit.
5. Stop buying shoes, instead concentrate on blouses, shirts, skirts and dresses, a whole lotta dresses. hehe
6. Save, save, save. Reach the agreed-upon amount before 2008 ends.
7. Maintain a gym schedule AFTER you finally finish the first 5-day conditioning!
8. Own at least one bright-colored bag - preferably YELLOW or RED.
9. Learn and master a new dish.
10. Get your plans for moving out of the country in the works! You should at least be able to start something next year.
11. Do not look for compliments from others, look for it from yourself.
12. Let go of negative emotions and memories that will not only hinder you from enjoying life but will let you live in fear.
13. Always look on the brighter side of things regardless how cruel the sitch can be.
14. When enraged, count to 10 before saying or doing anything. Sometimes, you can't take back what has already been said and done no matter how you apologize.
15. Enjoy life. You only get one shot at life so make the most out of it. Do not live with What-ifs and regrets, they only make you bitter. Live with i-did-my-best-and-gave-it-my-all. Live with passion and gusto, it's the only way you can enjoy life.

The movies..

I recently watched a movie and laughed at myself as I went out of the movie theater with tearstains on my face, hanky and probably a little on my shirt. It's amazing how these love stories can touch your hearts and move you to tears.

Provided the plot gives you everything you should expect: denouement (as pointed out by my friend complete with research and all), climax, whatever-terms-theathers-use and the lines that also help give it an edge, you cannot help but connect to a character in one way or another. It's probaby the reason why these kind of movies are made, to make us see the everyday emotions in a brighter light.

You laugh as you see them do funny antics.
You gush and you sigh as they are about to fall into this crazy thing we call love.
Then, you cry as you watch the character go through a painstaking ache as result of falling in love.
You cry as you watch them try to survive.
And yet,when the happy ending is about to unfold, you still cry.
Why is that?

As I was watching a hilarious comedy series that has become a fave, my question was finally answered.

We all want those happy endings for ourselves which is why we still cry at the end of every movie.
We wish that somehow, we could be them so we can be as happy as they are.
We want to be those characters, wearing that smile of contentment and humming that tune of bliss.

But when you think about it, our lives are like movies.
We have all the criteria that the theater has come up with.
These problems, emotional and otherwise, are the conflicts.
These conflicts are just plot points in this little story of ours.
How we fight, how we start anew and how we get back up is the climax.
And we can still have those happy endings.
Not exactly right now or maybe not in the near future but we'll get there.
With a little patience and a whole lot of faith.

So you see? Our life is like the movies.
Maybe not as famous as those advertised, maybe not shown in neon signs for everyone to see and maybe even not with a power cast for the roles. Each of our movie may not grab the emmy's or the golden globe, but it still rocks.
After all, we are the STARS of our own shows.

Of friends and broken hearts...

It's true when they say there's no one you can run to whenever you have love life crisis except your friends. There's no one else who'll share those moments with you except your friends who have either supported or protested to your love life which has gone from rough to chaotic;from recent to nonexistent.

Your friends share your grief and they get the burden of listening to you rant about what a jerk this guy is one minute and raving about how much you still love him despite all the next. They get to be the shoulders you cry on and the light amidst the darkness that befell upon you (dramatically put). When the rest of the world is out and about celebrating, you sulk in one corner of your room, wallowing in self-pity. Most often than not, your friends sulk with you.

It's this amazing kinship and camaraderie that makes broken hearts easier to mend.

Sure, the pain will be there. You can't escape from that no matter how hard you try to. But you've got friends who'll help you.
It won't be easy and memories will haunt you. But you've got friends who'll help you create new, beautiful ones.
There will be times when your self esteem will be pulled down to the lowest of low. But you've got friends who'll remind you of how great you are, of your worth and what you can offer the world.
Depression will cause havoc. But you've got friends who'll cheer you up and'll show you the wonderful things this world can still give.

They're the ones who'll make you see that moving on is a process, it doesn't happen overnight.
It's also a struggle, between hoping and losing all hope.
They'll show you that in time, you will see the reason beyond all this and why this had to happen.
They'll also tell you that in time, our hearts will learn on its own.
They'll be there, on the sidelines yet ready to play if the need arises, cheering and rooting for you to pull through.

And soon enough you will see that life does not end there.
There's still so much to see and so much you can do.

We can get hurt and we can grieve,
but we shouldn't let it get the best of us.
It's only our hearts they broke, we still have our spirit and our whole being.
We shouldn't let a broken heart break that too.

Christmas: as it goes by in a blur..

It's that time of the year when houses are lit, windows are adorned and colorful decorations are abundantly visible. The malls are reeking from the look and feel of this season. Every kid is excited with the promise of gifts this month brings. Those more mature are usually seen with big worried looks on their faces as skins cringe from pouting and brows meet in the middle from confusion. The list could go on. As all this happen around you, you can't help feel the same way - giddy, excited and worried. But somehow, something is amiss.

Will this Christmas be like any other traditional celebrations you have?
Will the same problems arise due to this Christmas rush?
Will it be as happy as it was a year ago?
Or will it be a lonely one as you find comfort in your solitude?

We can just hope that this season can help those who badly need it not just for those who have no earthly possessions and basic necessities but also for those who lost the power to believe. For those who has forgotten who they are and what they're worth. For those who're finding it hard to pick up the pieces and start anew. For those who have lived in sorrow, in pain and in fear. For those who have loved and got hurt and for those who are afraid to love.

The beauty that this season brings lie not on the gifts wrapped in fancy wrappers, not on the delectable dishes prepared and not on the decorations that flourish in the night.
The beauty this season brings lie on a new gleam of hope as you watch the world's colorful display and somehow a sense of encouragement for those who are trying to rebuild thier lives.

Amidst all this that'll probably pass by in a blur, there is promise hidden behind fancy adornments, colorfully-wrapped gifts and satisfying feasts.
A promise that something way beyond our imaginations is bound to happen.
Something we never prayed for yet something we need.
Something we might not have hoped - Something wonderful.

Will and Grace: In the limelight

There's something about this hit comedy series that gets to you.
It's either the odd, amazing relationship betweeen a straight gurl and a guy that's not so on the straight side; the witty and hilarious lines they throw at each other; or the two so-called "friends" that adds more color than there already is. Perhaps all of the above?

Friendships between a gurl and a gay is not something extraordinary. but the bond between Will and Grace is. You wonder if you'll find that same comfort and that same camaraderie with the same gender(not biologically that is) in this new age world.

Will's sensitive and professional attitude - with a touch of being gay, has the crowd stuck.
Grace's intellect and humour - with emotions that of an average and straight woman, has everybody hooked.
Jack's happy-go-lucky character is so infectious, you can't help but love him. Need i mention his dance moves that are probably one of the highlights of the show?
And Karen. Who could forget that shrill of a voice that seems to ring in your ears? Karen's love for glamour, fashion and riches strikes the audience. You either love her or hate her. Either ways, her moves never fail to amuse you.

Will and Grace's friendship has crossed the borders of being more than friends yet less than lovers. They are the epitome of that cliche. The bond that binds these four is cloaked with sarcasm, insults and personal strikes handled with finesse and flair. Yet beneath all this is a bond embraced in love, thoughtfulness and oh, passion. The writers of the show deserve something way beyond recognition. They are geniuses for coming up with something that is not only intellectually stimulating, it'll leave you in tears as well- from the show's side-splitting humour.

Grace: This would be us three weeks into marriage. 'Will, I'm having an affair'.
Will: 'Me too'.
Grace: 'His name's Donald'.
Will: 'Me too.'.
Will: Grace, do you want to sleep with me?
Grace: I'm sorry, I don't sleep with gay men.
Will: Oh, see, that's the problem. I do.

Pain

For many days now, we've watched our friend slip into oblivion once in a while.
We have no idea what is going on inside her mind and we don't know what she's thinking of.
We thought she was okay.
She has put on a pretty good act of being okay, of being strong.
She has convinced the people around her -
she has even almost convinced us, her closest friends.
But seeing her now, seeing her like this, makes us question.
She was able to carry on the past few months with so much strength
and she was able to pull it off.
We thought she was doing fine, not totally happy, but fine.
We haven't heard her talk about crying herself to sleep.
But all of a sudden, for the past week, she tells us otherwise.

To others, she's still the same.
But to us whom she really bares her soul to, we see the truth.
She constantly drifts into the unknown,
spacing out for a couple of minutes.
She suddenly lost the gusto to enjoy the outside world.
She pushes her physical strength beyond her limits.
She's cranky, she's very sensitive and she's irate.
She even snaps at her friends sometimes -
something that she'd never do intentionally before.
Her emotions are ranging on the extremes.
She still laughs and she still smiles but if you look deep into her eyes, you see emptiness, not warmth.
She goes on with her life, living it as normally as she could,
but in the midst of darkness, her tears are her only ally.

Can we take all of this against her?
When we know how hard she's trying to cope?
Can we blame her?
When we can see how much all of this is tearing her apart?
Should we understand her?
Knowing that she'll be able to pull through?

i guess we will. we should try, at least.
we can always tell her straight out that she's being a bitch.
but we will be there, as always,
looking forward to that day when she'll finally give us a genuine smile.

But for now, pain has finally taken its toll..for the nth time.

It's all about the hair

"Drastic times call for Drastic measures"
So the saying goes.

Yesterday wasn't a good day for me. for one, i woke up on the wrong side of the bed. There were a lot of mishaps as i went about my work. Emotionally, you don't wanna ask. I was high as cloud nine the other day only to fall hard and flat on my face. Lastly, home isn't that safe a place nowadays. The solace i once found there is missing.

On an impulse, my mom and I went to a salon to get our hairs done. I've long wanted to get my hair cut. My old hair was boring me. I got this hot oil treatment -a first for me, and a haircut. All I wanted was just a slight shift from my long hair. The barber had something else in mind. He/she (not quite sure what to use. hehe) wanted to cut my hair short! I wanted to have some time to think about it but time, that I did not have. With all the emotions trapped inside me that day, I gave myself that what-the-hell-I'm-gonna-do-it push and went along with it. I left my fate in his hands, in hopes of getting that new drastic look.

And I did.

When he/she said short, he/she meant REALLY short! This probably is the shortest hair I've ever had, except for some strands in front which are slightly longer than the rest. I'm a little scared and hesitant, afraid of what others might say. I'm not sure if I can pull it or if I'm carrying it well. Then i stop. I've been pleasing other people long enough, it's time I learn how to gather all my strength, tip my chin up and walk as if I own the world. Then, probably, the others will see that as well. After all, "Confidence is the key". So another saying goes. :)

Me, Myself and I

• I love it when it rains.
• I love the beach. I couldn’t go 2d beach & not be tempted to swim.
• I have always loved the color green yet I only own 1 or 2 shirts of that color. Talk about contradiction.
• I'm addicted to solitaire at work, can’t go through one day w/o playing. Something’s way wrong if it isn't in my taskbar. hehe
• I am fond of crossword puzzles. I can stay home, answer crossword puzzles all day and enjoy. :)
  
• A fetish for shoes, bags, skirts, eye-catching silver accessories.
• I am a big fan of desserts; especially crepes...Cakes are so-so. A meal just wouldn’t be complete without one (currently craving the native delicacy “maja”).
• I’m not a fan of scary movies; I don’t have the heart to take in the suspense and gruesome figures.
• I am a sucker for romantic movies - a hopeless romantic at heart.
• I slap, I pinch, I hit, I snap – literally.
• I’m not really the sweet-tempered kind of gurl. I’m not bitchy either but can be if the sitch calls for it.
• I am stubborn & heed my own intuition regardless of others' opinions.
• I find it extremely sexy & utterly sweet when a guy kisses me on the nose. (Swoon)
• I find that hugs are sweeter & better than kisses...Sometimes. ;)
• I find myself in tears at weddings.
• I love cooking and watching cooking shows. I could go on all day watching lifestyle cooking shows.
• I believe that relationships are not based on how sweet you are to each other, it’s how many storms you have weathered, how many problems you were able to get through together, how you find your way back to each other amidst the chaos, that depicts how strong and how good, if not perfect, your relationship is. "Hugs, kisses and sweet nothings are just added bonuses to being with someone" a guy once told me some 4 years ago.
• I have realized that you can only write so much for others to see you and yet a million things are still left unsaid.

Programming and the works...

They call me crazy. They call me weird.
All because I miss programming and the pressure associated with it.

It's true. I've missed those sleepless nights where all you do is stare at some mumbo jumbo they refer to as programming codes. The way you stretch your mind's capability to think beyond your limits.

As I transport myself sometime back to our college memories, I remember all too well how our days and nights went as our deadline for our project was fast approaching.

We started out with energies so high, you'd think it was endless. As the night wore on, the pressure grew stronger pushing us to the edges of our seats (literally, towards the monitor in hopes of being able to tell whats causing it not to work). A tournament to determine which one can make the perfect cup of coffee (this, being so not our forte) was initiated. Different stories have already been said and different forms of entertainment have been created to lighten the mood. We took turns in carefully dissecting each line and tears have already been shed- of to no avail. The problem remained unsolved as the sun's first rays dawned on us. Our luck for that day came in the form of a friend who was able to figure out what was wrong. The culprit was just one line, just one line that didn't make the whole thing work. Now isnt that just fine and dandy?

There's a different sense of fulfillment as you see your program work. there's a sense of pride as you watch all those characters come to life (this is exaggeration to the maximum level).

Sure i miss them and all yet i'm not currently doing anything that may even be related to it. and they keep on asking me why.

For starters, I'm not really that equipped with programming skills. I know the basics, I know the concept of 1 or 2 programming languages and I may even be able to write a few simple codes but thats about it. As interested as I am, I wasn't exposed to the programming world and i take full responsibility of that. I have the interest, I just don't have enough will power to do something about it. I'm hoping to change that.

With a renewed interest and with a little push from people who believes I can do it, I open my books and tutorials online.

I don't know how long I will last. I dont know if I will make it through. But this "renewed interest" should last more than just a few pages, this should be enough for me to learn. This should be enough to stop me from dreaming to be a programmer, but to finally become one.

The Art of Letting Go

Beep. Beep.

My mobile phone sounded as I received a text message. I read the message. I pause. Then I pass my phone to my friend who then pauses after reading. We then reflect.

How many lines have been quoted on letting go? How many sayings have been formulated and passed on about the same thing? Hundreds. Probably thousands.

I'm writing this not to go against those who have a strong belief in letting go. I'm no expert in the matter. Instead, I'm writing this is as I understand the phrase, as I perceive it and as I have experienced it.

We've been often told that in order for us to move on, we should learn to forgive and forget. We should learn to forget the person and lessen, if not, erase any feelings we might still have. We should learn to forego of any hope we still hold. Sure, easier said than done. But is this really how we should go about moving on? By letting go?

By forgiving, do we forget? By forgetting the person, does it also mean forgetting the memories associated with that person? It ain't a one-way street, the two go together. One cannot keep the memories without remembering the person. Finally, how do you stop a heart from feeling and from loving? How do you put an end to an emotion as strong as love?

I guess you can't. No matter how you keep telling yourself you should. The heart has reasons that even reason cannot understand. You deal with the loss by acceptance. There's just no other way. Acceptance of the facts that things will not go back to how it used to be anymore and that you have to start anew. Once you've accepted how things will be from hereon, you then learn to adjust and slowly put your life back on track. The memories will be there, they always will - Even the scars. They will remind you of how you once loved and what it taught you. Yes, you will learn to forgive because love sees beyond human errs. But I guess you'll never forget the person or what they meant to you once. They will always be with you.

The message was right after all. At least to me and my friend who came to the same conclusion.

You don't learn to let go, you learn to accept things as they are, day after day making you able to move on.
You don't learn to forget, you get used to it, used to the pain and the fact that they will be no more than just a beautiful memory once upon a time.

Fairies 101

Of flowers and feathers and fairies that fly
on wing dusted grey and shattered blue sky
Of eagles that soar on ribbon colored rain
of skies drizzling color as the lone artist paints
A swirl of gold amidst the dusty, dry trail
that ribbons and winds around the fairy's tale.

The original fairies, or faeries, bestowed gifts upon newborn children, such as beauty, wealth and kindness.

Fairies can only be seen clearly by animals and seldom by humans, although if one is fortunate enough, one might catch a fleeting glimpse. The first is when fairies use their power (known as 'glamour') to enable a human to see them. Also, during a full moon on Midsummer Eve a mortal witnesses fairy dances or celebrations. And finally, by looking through a self-bored stone (a stone in which a hole has been made by tumbling in the waters of a brook; not found on a beach) one can see fairies distinctly.

The rulers of the race of fairies are Queen Titania and her consort Prince Oberon, their court being in the vicinity of Stratford-on-Avon.

The name is probably a combination of the words fae "friend" and eire "green." So Faerie means "Green Friend."

by Micha F. Lindemans

Enchanted, Enthralled

I've always been drawn to tales of princesses and kingdoms;
of fairies and magical lands;
of mermaids and mythical underwater creatures.

As a child, they weren't given much thought.
As an adult, i slowly became enchanted.

Those winged creatures that flit and fly in a light breeze, laughing gaily;
Those sirens and mermaids with hair so long and perfect,
swimming along the current of the sea;
And tales of princesses and their quests in finding prince charming.

In a world ruled by technology and a world
that believes that information is power,
turning to these creatures invented by imaginations of geniuses
is a breath of fresh air.

I've always wondered what it would be like to live as they do,
to be them or be with them.

With fairy wings, I get to fly where I want and
live in a place where green dominates;
With fins, I get to enjoy the ocean and
discover the beauty that lies in its depth;
With a castle to call my own, I get to wear colorful, lavish gowns,
attend balls and soirees and get the romantic antics prince charmings do.
Life gets to be a big adventure one can only dream of.
Wouldn't that be just nice?

The spurts of color,
The lightness in mood,
The beauty in the midst -
are only a few of the things that has me enthralled.

Perhaps the greatest would be that in all of these mythical and magical fantasies,
they all have one common thing.

This is what has me enchanted and leaves me in sighs -
The happily-ever-afters that they have in the end.

On the lighter side of things..

On an ordinary day, in an ordinary place, the unexpected happens.

It was a usual friday night out with friends who were in the mood to sing their hearts out and just to enjoy. The goal was accomplished and we were having a grand time.

Just when I thought the night was over, our friend said she was on her way -to be dropped by probably the only guy that can come close to a celebrity icon that I totally dig.

With that, we were literally sprinting towards the entrance so we can see him. We were standing there for what seemed like an eternity. I was pacing, I was getting my speech ready- we were practically practicing how we were gonna go about meeting and talking to him.

The plan was set, the lines were practiced perfectly - but of to no avail.

A sleek red car came with its windows down, giving us a clearer view of the driver himself. With every inch that his car came closer to us, I was frantically panicking. But as nerve-wracking as the sitch can be, I managed to pull myself together and act cool. By cool, I mean, the plan was forgotten, the lines were a blur and all I could do was stand there, in awe, smiling like crazy and waved hi. WOW! What a way to impress. Hehe

Nevertheless, it was a nice feeling. I got to feel all giddy, excited and deliriously in cloud nine again. I was thrown back to the good 'ol college days when we used to sigh over guys like him. After such a long time, the emotions were refreshing and despite how silly I acted and how petty it seemed, it reminded me how it felt - the butterfly-in-the-stomach effect and the lightheaded feeling it gives us.

If I could just have moments where we could hang out together, then perhaps he may be more than just "the guy in my fantasies" (note the exaggeration). ;)

Pretense..

Pretending to be something you're not is unacceptable by the norms of our society. The mere act of pretension is rejected by the people. It has always belonged to the "evil doings" list - if ever such a list existed. Is it really? Bad?

When they said that life gets tougher, did they ever mention the intensity? When they said, you will get out of any undertaking; did they ever explain the answer to the question "how"? And when they said that you'll once again see the light, did they ever give you the exact length of time? The specifics are unknown. But in due time you will. cliche. But it is the truth. But while you stay in the midst of it all, what do you do? You then learn the subtle act of pretense.

You learn to smile despite the pain.
You learn to laugh despite the ache.
And you learn to go about your life despite the empty void engulfing you.
They may not be genuine, they may not be real but the point is you are trying to pick up the pieces. Each day, little by little, you learn to accept the reality of the past and face the uncertainty of the future.

So I ask the question again: is pretending bad?
When it's the only thing you can do to avoid being the object of ridicule?

I guess it's not. As long you don't hurt anybody in the process.

For so many days or maybe even months now, we've all led a life of pretense, one way or another. It's not intentional, we don't even like it. But somehow, it's the only way to survive.

Now if we could just learn to perfect the art of letting go...

a view from the top...

on a trip to the other part of Ocean park via the cable car - i swear i'm never riding one again! ever!













HongKong beneath all the fogs and mists...

newfound babies

Amidst all the chaos...


and the bullying...

...If the shoe fits...

My most comfortable, favorite of all favorites, most loved pair of shoe just gave up on me.

The heels are about to snap from walking thousands of miles to get to where I'm supposed to be. The straps are slowly losing its color and glow. The comfort that it once offered me is slowly vanishing into thin air.

And I sat there, staring at my shoes with tears clouding my vision, not knowing what to do.

I need a new pair of shoe. I can't keep wearing my old shoe just because I love it. I can't insist on wearing it just because it fits and it compliments me in every way possible. I just can't keep using it because if I do, sooner or later, my feet'll hurt.

Maybe it’s indeed time to find a new pair of shoe. But will I ever be able to find the exact kind? The exact fit?

There's something about those shoes that found a place in my heart, making it hard to let go. I was so used to being with it all the time, regardless of the place, regardless of the outfit. Screw color coordination, what matters is I'm wearing those shoes. It's that kind of bond that's simply hard to detach from. The way they fit to a T, making it seem like they were made only for me. The comfort it gives me, a feeling so light I'd think I was walking on clouds.

They say all good things do have their limitations. Perhaps, my shoes have just reached theirs. So we go on shoe shopping, in search of the perfect shoe that can replace or will come close to that of my fave. I try on all sorts of shoes, all colors and all styles. I try my very best not to compare and instead to look on the qualities that they possess which my shoes do not. I give each one of them a try in hopes of finding the right one. I need something I can use on a daily basis; Something that won't let me down and won't break on me no matter what I do, no matter where I go; Something that'll remain strong and sturdy despite how rough the road may be.

And then I realize that no matter how I keep on looking for a new pair of shoe, I will always come back to my fave. No matter how hard I try and how I convince myself that there are others better, I can't fool myself. I guess my heart will always be with the one that gave up on me. And I'm furious at myself for that.

Maybe with just the right touch and if I can just have my old shoes fixed, things will be ok. A little change here and there, replacements for torn parts and a whole lot of polish and it might be as good as new. Sure I can try, but there's no guarantee that it will be as strong and as sturdy as it once was. There's no assurance that it will be as good as new and that you can just pick things right where you left off.

So the battle now is within myself. Do I stay with my old shoes even though my feet'll hurt, in hopes that someday it'll get better? Or do I go wear other shoes but not get attached until the right one is found? -which mind you, requires a ton of patience, time and a whole lotta faith in this quest to find if the shoe does fit.

Melodramatic Me

Its been like what? Several weeks, if not a month, without a single entry added to the previous posts? My apologies euphie.. I got caught up in life's drama and work's pressure and umm, office politics (?!).

Life is such a complexity. You try to understand. I mean you want to understand why this is so and so. you want to search for all the answers. You want to have the answers. Didnt they say an inquisitive mind will go the distance? Then why am i still here? (somehow the connection aint here. disregard last line. hehe)

You go on with life, facing every challenge it throws your way, hiding now and then when the going gets too much to handle. You tip your chin high, hoping that by being strong and by being fierce, fate would come scared thus not giving you any more obstacles to block your way.
And yet, fate mocks you. Isn't that just neat? I dont sound bitter at all, do i? hehe

Dont get me wrong, I understand the challenges-and-problems-make-you-stronger effect and I strongly believe in that. There are just times when it wears you out and you get lost, confused and by the time you know it, you cant find your way back to that safe solace you once had.

You live your life in hopes of finding the answers, the reasons and the lessons to everything going, on real quick. Hoping it could finally let go of the confusion and the pain, hoping that you could finally be set free.

But at one point, you learn that the answers dont come easy and they dont come quick.
Sometimes, there are lessons you have yet to learn before you get them.
Other times, the answers are already there but we're either too busy and preoccupied to notice. Truth be told, most often than not, the answers are already there, with you.
The problem is, you dont like the answers and you find it hard to accept.
What happens then?

shimmer

SHIMMER
by: Fuel


She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable
And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label

She says she's ashamed
And she can take me for a while
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend

We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise, pink linen and white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterfliess, reality escapes her

She says that love is for fools that fall behind
And I'm somewhere in between
I never really know
A killer from a savior
'Til I break at the bend

We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....
Guess I'll let it go

The hand that holds..

We search and look for someone who'll hold our hands.

We live and we love in hopes that life can be better when someone holds your hand, thinking that maybe holding your hand can be enough.
But its not. It never is.

So what if someone is indeed holding your hand and yet leaves you in the middle of all the chaos? So what if someone is there yet disappears and leaves you be on the first sound of alarm?

Can that be enough? Will that be enough?

It's so easy to find someone who'll hold your hand and take those walks along the beach with you. Someone you can share the night sky filled with stars. Someone who'll hold your hand on your best days, making everything around you feel perfect. It's easy finding someone you can share your interests with, someone you can laugh and enjoy with. But the challenge does not end there.

You need something beyond that.

You need someone who'll hold your hand when you're on your worst mood, even when you're being the worst you.
Someone who'll hold your hand when everything else around you has gone wrong.

Someone whom you can share your interests with and yet argues with you about his own viewpoint, exchanging thoughts and ideas thus learning from each other.

Someone you can laugh with and someone who can make you laugh even on days when you are in the lowest of low.
Someone who'll hold you close and safe from the harshness of the world.
And someone who'll hold your hand no matter what storms may come, what turbulence may shake both of you and no matter what happens.

You need that. We all need that.

We dont need someone who'll just hold our hands. We need someone who'll hold our hands, especially at times when the world is a dark, bleak void waiting to swallow us whole.
Someone who'll hold it tight,it seems they won't let go.

Wait. Maybe that's what we all need.

Someone who'll hold our hand and never let go.

Fallin' in love with the rain..

What is it about the rain?
I've always loved the rain.
I've taken joy of the smell it brings as its first few drops hit the ground.
I'm not quite sure what it is about the rain that particularly drew me.
Perhaps its the way you are left in awe after watching the rain. Or perhaps its the effect of two emotions from totally different sides.

There is a certain sadness in the rain that gets to you.
Effect of the gloomy ambiance? Probably.
But there's something there you can feel but can't quite understand.
You sit in one corner, watching as the downpour of the rain is accompanied by the downpour of emotions within you.
At times, it overwhelms you. Other times, it kills (for the lack of a better term :D ) you.
There is also that wishful thinking that maybe the rain can wash away the pent up feelings trapped within oneself. Emotions that were kept at bay creeps its way out into the open once again, exposing the vulnerable you.

Yet, there is a certain calmness that you can't find anywhere else.
You feel contentment as you watch those drops fall out from the sky and unto everything else it can touch.
There's a certain hope amidst it all, impossible to see but something tells you its there, lurking behind dark clouds and angry skies.
It's the thought of knowing that after the rain comes a brand new place, washed out of everything tainted and ready for a fresh start with a clean slate.
It's the thought that after the rain comes sunshine.
Maybe that's the magic the rain holds
that you can't help... but fall in love.

A different kind of addiction

"Glued to your seat" is given a higher definition as i watch the mind boggling series, Prison Break.

Once you start watching, it'll be the only thing you'll want doing. You cant wait to get home and you'd rather stay home and watch than go out around town. You get oblivious to everything else around you. Time passes you by and you hardly ever notice.

Not only is the-brain-of-the-great-escape provocatively hott - although this is a fact one cannot fail to recognize, the plot itself unfolds into a profound series of events too stimulating and enigmatic one can not help but be hooked.

Its conspiracy-laced concept is probably what keeps viewers on their toes, watching and waiting in anticipation as another scene reels out revelations. Ofcourse, the occasional oohs and ahhs are always present, proof that the viewer is indeed into the whole thing.

The schemes, the strategies, the genius plots, the witty lines and everything else justifies why this series is a must-see. Did i mention exactly how drooly fascinating the lead guy is? those eyes are apparently the most seductive eyes i have ever seen.

All the more reason to stay glued to your seat. :)

dreams..

Dream the dreams that have never been dreamt.
Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die,
life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
To those who can dream,
there is no such place as faraway.