It's all about the hair

"Drastic times call for Drastic measures"
So the saying goes.

Yesterday wasn't a good day for me. for one, i woke up on the wrong side of the bed. There were a lot of mishaps as i went about my work. Emotionally, you don't wanna ask. I was high as cloud nine the other day only to fall hard and flat on my face. Lastly, home isn't that safe a place nowadays. The solace i once found there is missing.

On an impulse, my mom and I went to a salon to get our hairs done. I've long wanted to get my hair cut. My old hair was boring me. I got this hot oil treatment -a first for me, and a haircut. All I wanted was just a slight shift from my long hair. The barber had something else in mind. He/she (not quite sure what to use. hehe) wanted to cut my hair short! I wanted to have some time to think about it but time, that I did not have. With all the emotions trapped inside me that day, I gave myself that what-the-hell-I'm-gonna-do-it push and went along with it. I left my fate in his hands, in hopes of getting that new drastic look.

And I did.

When he/she said short, he/she meant REALLY short! This probably is the shortest hair I've ever had, except for some strands in front which are slightly longer than the rest. I'm a little scared and hesitant, afraid of what others might say. I'm not sure if I can pull it or if I'm carrying it well. Then i stop. I've been pleasing other people long enough, it's time I learn how to gather all my strength, tip my chin up and walk as if I own the world. Then, probably, the others will see that as well. After all, "Confidence is the key". So another saying goes. :)

Me, Myself and I

• I love it when it rains.
• I love the beach. I couldn’t go 2d beach & not be tempted to swim.
• I have always loved the color green yet I only own 1 or 2 shirts of that color. Talk about contradiction.
• I'm addicted to solitaire at work, can’t go through one day w/o playing. Something’s way wrong if it isn't in my taskbar. hehe
• I am fond of crossword puzzles. I can stay home, answer crossword puzzles all day and enjoy. :)
  
• A fetish for shoes, bags, skirts, eye-catching silver accessories.
• I am a big fan of desserts; especially crepes...Cakes are so-so. A meal just wouldn’t be complete without one (currently craving the native delicacy “maja”).
• I’m not a fan of scary movies; I don’t have the heart to take in the suspense and gruesome figures.
• I am a sucker for romantic movies - a hopeless romantic at heart.
• I slap, I pinch, I hit, I snap – literally.
• I’m not really the sweet-tempered kind of gurl. I’m not bitchy either but can be if the sitch calls for it.
• I am stubborn & heed my own intuition regardless of others' opinions.
• I find it extremely sexy & utterly sweet when a guy kisses me on the nose. (Swoon)
• I find that hugs are sweeter & better than kisses...Sometimes. ;)
• I find myself in tears at weddings.
• I love cooking and watching cooking shows. I could go on all day watching lifestyle cooking shows.
• I believe that relationships are not based on how sweet you are to each other, it’s how many storms you have weathered, how many problems you were able to get through together, how you find your way back to each other amidst the chaos, that depicts how strong and how good, if not perfect, your relationship is. "Hugs, kisses and sweet nothings are just added bonuses to being with someone" a guy once told me some 4 years ago.
• I have realized that you can only write so much for others to see you and yet a million things are still left unsaid.

Programming and the works...

They call me crazy. They call me weird.
All because I miss programming and the pressure associated with it.

It's true. I've missed those sleepless nights where all you do is stare at some mumbo jumbo they refer to as programming codes. The way you stretch your mind's capability to think beyond your limits.

As I transport myself sometime back to our college memories, I remember all too well how our days and nights went as our deadline for our project was fast approaching.

We started out with energies so high, you'd think it was endless. As the night wore on, the pressure grew stronger pushing us to the edges of our seats (literally, towards the monitor in hopes of being able to tell whats causing it not to work). A tournament to determine which one can make the perfect cup of coffee (this, being so not our forte) was initiated. Different stories have already been said and different forms of entertainment have been created to lighten the mood. We took turns in carefully dissecting each line and tears have already been shed- of to no avail. The problem remained unsolved as the sun's first rays dawned on us. Our luck for that day came in the form of a friend who was able to figure out what was wrong. The culprit was just one line, just one line that didn't make the whole thing work. Now isnt that just fine and dandy?

There's a different sense of fulfillment as you see your program work. there's a sense of pride as you watch all those characters come to life (this is exaggeration to the maximum level).

Sure i miss them and all yet i'm not currently doing anything that may even be related to it. and they keep on asking me why.

For starters, I'm not really that equipped with programming skills. I know the basics, I know the concept of 1 or 2 programming languages and I may even be able to write a few simple codes but thats about it. As interested as I am, I wasn't exposed to the programming world and i take full responsibility of that. I have the interest, I just don't have enough will power to do something about it. I'm hoping to change that.

With a renewed interest and with a little push from people who believes I can do it, I open my books and tutorials online.

I don't know how long I will last. I dont know if I will make it through. But this "renewed interest" should last more than just a few pages, this should be enough for me to learn. This should be enough to stop me from dreaming to be a programmer, but to finally become one.

The Art of Letting Go

Beep. Beep.

My mobile phone sounded as I received a text message. I read the message. I pause. Then I pass my phone to my friend who then pauses after reading. We then reflect.

How many lines have been quoted on letting go? How many sayings have been formulated and passed on about the same thing? Hundreds. Probably thousands.

I'm writing this not to go against those who have a strong belief in letting go. I'm no expert in the matter. Instead, I'm writing this is as I understand the phrase, as I perceive it and as I have experienced it.

We've been often told that in order for us to move on, we should learn to forgive and forget. We should learn to forget the person and lessen, if not, erase any feelings we might still have. We should learn to forego of any hope we still hold. Sure, easier said than done. But is this really how we should go about moving on? By letting go?

By forgiving, do we forget? By forgetting the person, does it also mean forgetting the memories associated with that person? It ain't a one-way street, the two go together. One cannot keep the memories without remembering the person. Finally, how do you stop a heart from feeling and from loving? How do you put an end to an emotion as strong as love?

I guess you can't. No matter how you keep telling yourself you should. The heart has reasons that even reason cannot understand. You deal with the loss by acceptance. There's just no other way. Acceptance of the facts that things will not go back to how it used to be anymore and that you have to start anew. Once you've accepted how things will be from hereon, you then learn to adjust and slowly put your life back on track. The memories will be there, they always will - Even the scars. They will remind you of how you once loved and what it taught you. Yes, you will learn to forgive because love sees beyond human errs. But I guess you'll never forget the person or what they meant to you once. They will always be with you.

The message was right after all. At least to me and my friend who came to the same conclusion.

You don't learn to let go, you learn to accept things as they are, day after day making you able to move on.
You don't learn to forget, you get used to it, used to the pain and the fact that they will be no more than just a beautiful memory once upon a time.

Fairies 101

Of flowers and feathers and fairies that fly
on wing dusted grey and shattered blue sky
Of eagles that soar on ribbon colored rain
of skies drizzling color as the lone artist paints
A swirl of gold amidst the dusty, dry trail
that ribbons and winds around the fairy's tale.

The original fairies, or faeries, bestowed gifts upon newborn children, such as beauty, wealth and kindness.

Fairies can only be seen clearly by animals and seldom by humans, although if one is fortunate enough, one might catch a fleeting glimpse. The first is when fairies use their power (known as 'glamour') to enable a human to see them. Also, during a full moon on Midsummer Eve a mortal witnesses fairy dances or celebrations. And finally, by looking through a self-bored stone (a stone in which a hole has been made by tumbling in the waters of a brook; not found on a beach) one can see fairies distinctly.

The rulers of the race of fairies are Queen Titania and her consort Prince Oberon, their court being in the vicinity of Stratford-on-Avon.

The name is probably a combination of the words fae "friend" and eire "green." So Faerie means "Green Friend."

by Micha F. Lindemans

Enchanted, Enthralled

I've always been drawn to tales of princesses and kingdoms;
of fairies and magical lands;
of mermaids and mythical underwater creatures.

As a child, they weren't given much thought.
As an adult, i slowly became enchanted.

Those winged creatures that flit and fly in a light breeze, laughing gaily;
Those sirens and mermaids with hair so long and perfect,
swimming along the current of the sea;
And tales of princesses and their quests in finding prince charming.

In a world ruled by technology and a world
that believes that information is power,
turning to these creatures invented by imaginations of geniuses
is a breath of fresh air.

I've always wondered what it would be like to live as they do,
to be them or be with them.

With fairy wings, I get to fly where I want and
live in a place where green dominates;
With fins, I get to enjoy the ocean and
discover the beauty that lies in its depth;
With a castle to call my own, I get to wear colorful, lavish gowns,
attend balls and soirees and get the romantic antics prince charmings do.
Life gets to be a big adventure one can only dream of.
Wouldn't that be just nice?

The spurts of color,
The lightness in mood,
The beauty in the midst -
are only a few of the things that has me enthralled.

Perhaps the greatest would be that in all of these mythical and magical fantasies,
they all have one common thing.

This is what has me enchanted and leaves me in sighs -
The happily-ever-afters that they have in the end.