The Art of Letting Go

Beep. Beep.

My mobile phone sounded as I received a text message. I read the message. I pause. Then I pass my phone to my friend who then pauses after reading. We then reflect.

How many lines have been quoted on letting go? How many sayings have been formulated and passed on about the same thing? Hundreds. Probably thousands.

I'm writing this not to go against those who have a strong belief in letting go. I'm no expert in the matter. Instead, I'm writing this is as I understand the phrase, as I perceive it and as I have experienced it.

We've been often told that in order for us to move on, we should learn to forgive and forget. We should learn to forget the person and lessen, if not, erase any feelings we might still have. We should learn to forego of any hope we still hold. Sure, easier said than done. But is this really how we should go about moving on? By letting go?

By forgiving, do we forget? By forgetting the person, does it also mean forgetting the memories associated with that person? It ain't a one-way street, the two go together. One cannot keep the memories without remembering the person. Finally, how do you stop a heart from feeling and from loving? How do you put an end to an emotion as strong as love?

I guess you can't. No matter how you keep telling yourself you should. The heart has reasons that even reason cannot understand. You deal with the loss by acceptance. There's just no other way. Acceptance of the facts that things will not go back to how it used to be anymore and that you have to start anew. Once you've accepted how things will be from hereon, you then learn to adjust and slowly put your life back on track. The memories will be there, they always will - Even the scars. They will remind you of how you once loved and what it taught you. Yes, you will learn to forgive because love sees beyond human errs. But I guess you'll never forget the person or what they meant to you once. They will always be with you.

The message was right after all. At least to me and my friend who came to the same conclusion.

You don't learn to let go, you learn to accept things as they are, day after day making you able to move on.
You don't learn to forget, you get used to it, used to the pain and the fact that they will be no more than just a beautiful memory once upon a time.