Battle of the heart vs. the mind..

In all the years of my existence and in the various lessons garnered from experiences, you would think that i would know better. I should but sadly, I dont.

I've always been cautious. In shopping, in decision making - professionally, in cooking, in eating and in almost anything. Anything except matters of the heart. This is one area I can never seem to master the art of being canny and vigilant.

Once my heart talks, the mind is thrown to the back seat. Yes, there are debates. There's this mind-over-heart battle that just keeps on going. Yet in the end, the heart always wins. Whoever said that one should follow your heart to be truly happy did not know that it can only be true to some cases, not all. I should know. I've got the scars and bruises to prove it.

After every storm, defenses are built; you detach yourself from the world; you become devoid of any emotion and you become this cynical gurl wary of everything that comes knocking her way. And just when you were going along fine with your life - oblivious to everything else, something happens and it slowly thaws your insides that by the time you know it, you melt. Defenses are broken down, logic is replaced with faith, emotions become alive again and the belief that something wonderful may happen is renewed.. only to have it stepped upon and destroyed.. yet again.

How many times does this have to happen? When will this cycle end? Will this ever end? How many times should our heart break before we can finally have that happily ever after? How many tears should we waste before we can finally say "enough"?

I guess there is no answer to this. For the heart is resilient. No matter how many times we've been hurt, we continue to love. Despite the ache that's tearing us apart, we continue to hope.

So the vicious cycle of falling in love and hurting continues and we stay for the ride regardless of the pain. Why? Because somewhere inside us, there's a tiny flicker of hope that this time, maybe we've found that one person meant to heal our hearts; maybe just this once, we can be that one person hard to walk away from; and maybe this time, we can finally tell ourselves that everything we've been through was all worth it.